When I was a kid our Christmases were very poor. We couldn’t afford
tinsel. We had to wait for grandpa to sneeze.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of
their houses, you don’t know if they’re celebrating the birth of Jesus
or General Electric.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed
in Bermuda shorts…groping their way through the smog singing: “It
came upon a midnight clear.”
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids
dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in
Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd’s outfit
is on a mobile/cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
I know. I know. I know that people say “It’s the thought that counts,
not the gift”, but couldn’t people think a little bigger!
Every year, Christmas becomes less a birthday and more a Clearance
Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit
cards, it’s on my Visa Card Statement twelve months a year also.
Some of these new toys are so creative and inventive. This year they
have a Neurotic Doll. It’s wound up already.
I bought my friend some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift-
wrap counter and told them to wrap it, but in different paper, so he’d
know when to stop unwrapping.
When I was young we were poor. We didn’t have a Christmas tree, we had
a Christmas stump.