Funny Jokes – Things I’ve learned about Tennessee

Funny Joke – Things I’ve learned about Tennessee and being a
Tennessean….

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Tennessee.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennessee plus
a couple no one’s seen before.
Squirrels will eat anything.
Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they
are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
A tractor is NOT and all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Onced and twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
People actually grow and eat okra.
“Fixinto” is one word.
There is no such thing as “lunch”. There is only dinner and then
there is supper.
Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
you’re two.
Backards and forwards means “I know everything about you.”
Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning “Did you eat?”
You don’t have to wear a watch because it doesn’t matter what time
it is.
You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
More about Tennesseans….

You know you’re from Tennessee if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
3. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: “I’m fixing to go to the store
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both unlocked.
6. You know what a “VOL” is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.
11. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday
12. You find 100 degrees fahrenheit “a little warm”.
13. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer
and Christmas.
14. You know whether another Tennessean is from east, west or middle
Tennessee as soon as they open their mouth.
15. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as”goin’ Wal-martin” or
off to “Wally World”.
16. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good
pinto-bean weather.
17. A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola or pop…it’s a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor. Example: “What kinda coke you want?”
18. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
19. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from
Tennessee (and those who just wish they were).

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2 Comments »

  1. 1
    frank orson Says:

    Sounds just like East Texas to me

  2. 2

    The other “white meat” in the South are grits! (If all the world would eat grits we could live in sweet HOMINY.)


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